Why does silence matter?
Silence is an essential element of inner work.
But in modern life, it's pretty much as rare as precious metal. It's so easy to always be distracted, constantly consuming some kind of information or entertainment, engaging in some activity—we've got infinite ways to keep our minds mindlessly busy.
But silence requires conscious effort and intention.
Silence is the space in which insight and wisdom can grow, and in silence you can start hearing your inner voice, first as a shy whisper, and then eventually, loud and crystal clear.
Silence is holy. It heals our soul.
If you’re interested in doing deep inner work, you need silence and stillness as the fertile ground on which to grow your conscious awakening.
7 years ago I went on a long walk through noisy San Francisco and finally arrived at a quiet little bench, sat down, and instantly had this realization that I wrote down:
“Silence provides the space to breath, feel, think, confront me with my inner self. A vacation away from noise. Oxygen for my soul. “
Just now I finally fully embrace this realization and start expanding the amount of stillness in my life, with incredible results.
Try it for yourself for only 30 days and see what happens next :)
My 7 daily silence practices
Here are the 7 big and small ways in which I currently practice and play with silence in my daily life:
6:00 AM - 7:00 AM: The Golden Hour
One of the most universal bad habits in today’s world, is reaching for the smartphone as the very first action of the day. Most humans spend the first 15-30mins glued to their phone, using its illumination and stimulation as the energizer to get up.
But the price we pay for this is simply too high. You create mindlessness as the starting point for the day’s journey. We need some time to fully awaken to the day, to awaken to ourselves. We need time to process our sleep, time to breath, to think and to feel. Time to ponder and plan. Time to create a vision for ourselves and our day.
We need time to outline the shape of our true self, before jumping into the ocean of humanity.
The first hour of the day is holy to me. No phone, no TV, no laptop, no tablet. No calls, no work, no business. I typically wake up, go to the bathroom, make myself a tea or coffee, and then sit for half an hour and think, feel, simply be. Then I put on some clothes, I write down some of my dreams, some of my thoughts and feelings, and prepare my breakfast. All this in silence.
7:30 AM - 8:30 AM: Yoga
10 months ago I took on a 40 day challenge to do an hour of yoga daily in silence. It was lead by my good friend Charlie, designed for my needs, and after a couple of zoom yoga sessions with her I started my practice alone, using her audio as guidance at first and eventually transitioning to doing my yoga practice in self guidance and silence.
I can’t tell you how powerful this hour has been for my well being (hence why I have continued it way past the first 40 days).
It’s an hour fully dedicated to bodily sensation and re-alignment. Sensing my whole body, my tensions and my breath.
Letting the wisdom of my body whisper the truth about my life to me. Telling me where there is tension and within, it a hidden message of correction.
To me this is an hour dedicated to getting attuned to my body.
8:30 AM - 8:45 AM: Meditation
Right after yoga is a perfect transition to extend the time on the mat for just a couple of minutes in total stillness and visit a state of meditation. Just letting go of all attention, all listening to, all thought, all sensation (if possible), and going blissfully blank.
Of course most days that won’t work flawlessly (and some are beautifully impossible to do), but it’s in the awareness and noticing of the ebb and flow, the difficulty to go blank, that the practice of meditation is realized, and not in the perfection of the performance of a “meditative” state.
9:00 AM, 12:30 PM & 7:00 PM: Eating
Something simple, but pretty impactful for me, has been silent eating.
I was raised in front of a television set, and did not know what it feels like to eat without watching “something”.
Food and content consumption (or noise) were inextricably linked for me since childhood.
When I eat today, I try to be present for the experience of consuming food. Tasting the taste, smelling the smell, feeling my tummy fill up. Being grateful and aware of the present of food, of being nourished by mother earth. I know this sounds new age-y for most people, but isn’t it a crime to be mindlessly shuffle food inside of you, not paying attention to what you’re eating or how it feels, swiping on your phone and playing youtube clips?
3:00 PM - 3:30 PM: Walk in Nature
Once a day I try to take a quick walk in nature. No phone with me, no digital devices, no podcasting, no audiobooks, no music. Just me, listening to the sounds of the world, ideally the wind, the birds, the rustling of the trees. It’s one of the more challenging things in my routine since it’s something that I frequently want to skip (and I do skip this one once or twice per week). Once I’m outside and walking, I can’t understand why I would ever resist it, but the fact is I do. So although walking in nature in silence is one of the most beautiful gifts I can give myself, I need to practice gifting myself this type of thing more consistently.
5:00 PM - 5:15 PM: Boredom Time
This is one of my favorites. It’s so much fun and so different from literally everything else I do in my life. I set a timer, sit down somewhere non stimulating (so not in front of the window or any place in my apartment that has visual stimulation available), and just gaze at the most boring spot I can find. Some of my go-tos are the ceiling, the carpet, or my pants.
This isn’t meditating. This isn’t mindfulness. It’s time to sit with no purpose and let the mind wonder. The magic of this for me is that it’s literally the only time in my day with absolutely no purpose. No direction whatsoever. There is something so refreshing about flowing for a bit in time and space vs. laboring towards a shore (even in meditation, there is direction).
9:00 PM - 10:30 PM: Reading
The last hour and a half of my day I usually spend in bed, in darkness, only my Kindle glowing on low light levels, reading a good book.
It’s a very calming last activity to my day, and it allows me to slowly phase out, feel my body, hear my breathing, get lost in a beautiful story and then realize ever so slowly that I am getting more and more tired and eventually feeling that it’s time to call it a day and turn off the Kindle and sleep.
Bonus: Silent Activities
For those who look for even more ways (or maybe smaller ways to get started), there are some easy silent wins hidden everywhere throughout our days.
Chores, Errands & Bathroom Breaks are three simple ways that I get extra silent time into my life. Especially bathroom breaks used to be phone sessions for me, since I stopped that, it added a bit of unstructured time to feel my body and listen to my mind roaming (which is a good opportunity to check in on oneself).
It’s nothing major, but these little activities accumulate. And the difference it makes of spending multiple 5-10min tasks in silence and fully emerged, instead of doing the activities while on the phone or listening to a podcast or a YouTube clip, end up making a big difference.
Take the Challenge
Ask yourself: Is there ever a part of my day that I spend in comfortable silence or do I drown my life in noise?
Most people drown in noise these days, and it’s because we’re running away from ourselves. If you think “I can’t just sit in silence I’ll go crazy”, ask yourself if you’re not crazy already thinking “I can’t just sit in silence, I’ll go sane”
Take stock of your life right now, wherever you are, just setup a goal to incrementally increase the silence and stillness of your life a little bit.
What could be a starting point? Something you believe you could do for just 30 days?
Start there, and see what happens next :)